- The sterling/Euro exchange rate is a shocker. Notionally £1.11 to the Euro, by the time those rapacious sods at Gatwick had consumed their pound (or euro??) of flesh, it was to all intents and purposes at parity. Prices that would, 2 years ago, have appeared appealing therefore appeared atrocious. I feel for the Spanish. Tourists will stay away in droves. Locals seemed very happy to be paying the prices in restaurants, but shops were ominously devoid of customers. OK, this is a tourist-magnet capital city so prices are inflated, but so is pay. They’re unhappy in Greece. How long before they’re unhappy in Spain? It feels like something has to break in Euro-land. Or maybe achieving parity was the aim all along. Time to say goodbye to sterling perhaps?

- Still on the subject of the current exchange rate, we’re told it is wonderful for UK exporters. This is supposed to be our consolation for the collapse in sterling. Yet I read in The Times that, according to the manufacturers’ federation the EEF, the supposed advantage is working only for a selected slice or two of British exporters, that in general the rush you would expect of deal-hungry businesses to root out beneficial new overseas contracts has not happened. The article blamed it on the lack of knowledge among companies about how to export. Rubbish. The government-backed export agency UKTI exists, very publicly, to help anyone who wants to export. I can’t help thinking it is, yet again, down to lazy, unimaginitive British business people who think that mere survival is as good as winning. Survive? They don’t deserve to.

- Snow followed me from the UK like a faithful hound. First time in 10 years it had snowed in Madrid apparently. Odd, then, that local council cleaning crews were out gritting/salting pavements as if it were quite a matter of routine. I was stunned, having watched how completely crap we are in the UK at dealing with weather emergencies. Good old Madrilenos, I thought. I then spoke to a local who lives in the suburbs and he said they only do that where tourists can see them. Not so different after all, then…

- Cops. Lots of them. A younger me might have objected but now I feel very reassured. They don’t look hard and menacing – indeed many of them are young women who bring great dignity to the role. They are just there. What is not there? Any sign of feral youth sporting gangsta gear, frightening old ladies, and everyone else for that matter. Maybe they’re all in the Madrid suburbs, a friend said. Well, maybe. But the little buggers are all over Central London like a rash, they don’t stay away from the centre. The feeling grows that something has gone horribly wrong in Britain.

Of course, I would not for one moment suggest that BT is a rotten, dirty, low-down lying bunch of scumbags. Nothing could be further from the truth as legions of satisfied customers will attest.

But twice in the past 9 months I have been obliged to have broadband installed in new premises. Each time it has been late/non-functional and each time the escalation of my complaint has received an eerily similar-sounding progression of explanations:

1. Five days later than promised, no service – order processing, takes time, don’t you know? And anyway, it was never supposed to be on before now, someone gave you the wrong date. (How????)
2. Two days later, still not on – well, it has been provisioned. We’ll check.
3. Five more days pass – ah, there’s a fault at the exchange.
4. Two more days – general network outage in your area, everyone’s been hit. (They hadn’t.)
5. Five more days, close to going postal – OK, OK, we’ll send an engineer.

Engineer arrives, problem solved in 5 minutes. Turns out some bozo had got the wires the wrong way round at the exchange. But you get the idea…a simple issue, but dressed in increasingly apocalyptic terms, all to keep one at bay.

Now, I repeat, it would be ludicrous, disrespectful and downright wrong to accuse BT of being anything other than a brilliant, fine and upstanding provider of communications services, and any similarity between the two experiences is just a coincidence.

Makes you think though, doesn’t it?